Chapter 1:

The bright glow from the match lit the room with an elegant yellow-red hue. All the furniture seemed expensive and antiquarian. Especially the chesterfield that was ever so carefully placed in the back corner. Who's furniture was it? Who would sit in that and for how long? Would it be a masculine being? The pine table stood majestically at the other end of the hall. It seemed as though the left front leg was slightly shorter than the other. Why?

The match slowly burnt down and singed the aged custodian's long and jagged finger. A light burn which he had become accustomed to over the long years of working the country estate. Suddenly the rug beneath the man ruffled. A harsh, masculine odor entered the room. He awkwardly craned his brittle neck down. Darkness…

Strike! Another match is lit, this time by his unburned hand. He scanned the floor. Nothing! Swish, swosh, a movement, a quick and agile movement across the ground under the chesterfield. The glow of the match only allowed for a labored view of the floor. Then suddenly, with absolute confidence, a small rodent leaped and soared through the damp air. It lands on the table. The custodian is not frightened. He feels safe and somewhat in awe of this rodent's presence. He makes a slow gesture towards the animal. He can now see it. Behold! It is the most handsome and noble squirrel this custodian has ever seen! The animal's mighty testicles hung with an air of power that could only command sheer respect.

Chapter II:

Garfield, or as his employers referred to him, Gar, picked at his lunch somewhat distracted. The squirrel, however, with a feverish joy ate away at his food. Gar couldn't understand how the squirrel had so cleverly evaded all of his mouse traps. Of course, Gar was relieved that the rodent was not injured, but he was confused by the wholly unique brilliance and wit of the squirrel. Not to mention the fact the animal's impressively giant testicles were sitting on the table next to him…

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