Maximillian T. Grendel today bragged that SANDWICH cannot help but fall "ass-backwards into money, no matter what we do." His statement follows an announcement from Octuple AAAAAAAA Longhorn-San Food Systems co-president Jimmi Octuple, that his company would pay a "ludicrously large sum of cold hard green stuff" to buy the phrase "Without Hatred, There Would Be No Sandwich" for a new Grilled Chork Sandwich, available at Senior Racist's Immigrant Burger -- a chain of accelerated food restaurants owned by Longhorn-San.

The phrase in question was uttered by SANDWICH's head of Hatred, Harold bin Sampson, at a press conference last Monday, though he was referring to his department, and not to any food product. Mr. Octuple was watching the press conference via closed circuit television. At that particular moment he was struggling to find a slogan for his new sandwich. "I wanted a sentence that would tie-in to the restaurant's overall theme, and also distract people from thinking about the meat, Chork, which, among the demographic that eats at this brand concept, we have a generally lower acceptance rate on. Anyhow, this was perfect, and Max gave me a good deal on it."

Mr. Grendel's "good deal" is said to have netted millions in cash and stock for SANDWICH. He reminds all employees that whenever possible, they should record everything they say and do.

S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H., the Special Association for Narcotics, Deception, Witchcraft, Infanticide, Coercion and Hatred, is a multinational corporation devoted to excellence in every field it enters.

For further information about the contents of this press release or about S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. in general, please contact Lucy Fairfax (lucy@skitfaced.com).