8:00am The dinnerLand Gang. An all-new cartoon from dinnerLand Restaurants InternationalTM. If you're the kind of kid that likes watching a lot of TV and eating until you fall asleep, you'll love The dinnerLand Gang.

8:30am Dutch & Polski Mailbag. A show dedicated to the young fans of the popular night-time police drama Dutch & Polski. Wayne-John Samoth (Keith Van Dutcher) and Daniel Dance (Ron Polski) read and respond to letters from their fans. Special appearances by Pablo Sierra (Honey Bee) and Mearn Vodka (Captain Bossy).

9:00am Hypno-Learning for Kids: Flash and Scream. Hypno-Learning induces a horrifying yet invigorating trance in children while teaching them important things like the Dewey decimal system and how to build diorama's... subliminally!

1:00pm Reel Scenes feature: Space Court. A behind-the-scenes look at some of the most anticipated movies and exclusive interviews with your favourite stars. Sneak Preview: Actor Hank Boeing filming a dramatic scene in the upcoming mega-budget science-fiction courtroom drama, Space Court.

2:00pm Invisible City News. Did you know that the murder rate in Invisible City is 128 times the national average? It's important to be informed, especially in a town where everyone's invisible.

3:00pm Skitfaced Artsé: Blindma 96. This award-nominated documentary showcases Blindma 96, the northern European art-house film movement that is currently important.

4:00pm Porno Dad. A hilarious and educational live-action sitcom about an impressionable young boy named Daniil (dan-EEL) and his cocaine-abusing, adult-film star Dad. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll feel icky. PARENTAL SUPERVISION MANDATORY!

6:00pm 7 Tiger Fighting Theatre. 7TFT takes your well-loved favorites of the Silver Screen, add a helping of Tiger-Style Kung Fu, and translate back into your beloved language, English. Watch fancy kicking versions of 'Casablanka' and 'Gerry McGwire'.

7:00pm When Reality Attacks! An all new found-footage shock program. Watch sneak previews: When Hernias Attack! #1! #2! #3! and Mercenaries Crash Party.

7:30pm Marijuana House. A new reality series featuring a motley crew of potheads forced to live in a small apartment for several months with way too much chronic. Who will survive this reefer madness?

8:30pm Paloma Fake Hockey. Pretty darn good hockey considering its fake. Brilliant fake commentary and analysis.

10:00pm Dutch and Polski. This hard-hitting and decidedly un-gay cop show follows the gritty lives of Detectives Ron Polski (Daniel Dance) and Keith Van Dutcher (Wayne-John Samoth) as they try to clean up the streets... and themselves.