Carboy Shocker! V8's Mother Had 'Relations' With '58 Chevy

June 5, 2002 02:21 PM

Slick and charming movie star, Vance Eight, also known as 'V8' has always likened himself to an automobile. Many have said it's because his name, when abbreviated, is V8 which is also a type of engine commonly used in large automobiles. Others have said it's because he loves cars. Cynics often claim it's just a cheap publicity stunt.

The Universe has uncovered startling news about the true reason for Vance Eight's nickname and likeness to cars. V8's maternal mother had an affair with a 1958 Chevy before she met Vance's father, Carl Eight. Secret pictures were uncovered when Universe field reporters broke into Ms. Eight's Michigan farmhouse and ransacked her photo albums. The pictures clearly show Ms. Eight kissing and fondling the '58 Chevy. And, in other more startling snapshots, the Chevy returned the favour and performed oral sex on Ms. Eight and then proceeded to penetrate her. Further evidence indicates that the two continued the torrid sexual affair for decades until the Chevy's body rusted completely through at which point there was concern that Ms. Eight might contract rust-poisoning if she didn't cease the relationship. The '58 Chevy, known to her affectionately and 'Gary' is believed to have been melted and destroyed in 1979.

Ms. Eight was not available for comment, although she has expressed slight disappointment in the breaking and entering of her farmhouse.

Vance Eight has yet to comment concerning the matter. He is currently away in the Pacific Islands shooting an action-romance-comedy which sees him playing cop who's off to the Tropics to investigate a pick-pocket ring. The picture's working title is Pocket To The Tropic.

Skitfaced Home Celebrity Crime Editorial Sports The Paranormal	Carboy Shocker! V8's Mother Had 'Relations' With '58 Chevy June 5, 2002 02:21 PM Slick and charming movie star, Vance Eight, also known as 'V8' has always likened himself to an automobile. Many have said it's because his name, when abbreviated, is V8 which is also a type of engine commonly used in large automobiles. Others have said it's because he loves cars. Cynics often claim it's just a cheap publicity stunt. The Universe has uncovered startling news about the true reason for Vance Eight's nickname and likeness to cars. V8's maternal mother had an affair with a 1958 Chevy before she met Vance's father, Carl Eight. Secret pictures were uncovered when Universe field reporters broke into Ms. Eight's Michigan farmhouse and ransacked her photo albums. The pictures clearly show Ms. Eight kissing and fondling the '58 Chevy. And, in other more startling snapshots, the Chevy returned the favour and performed oral sex on Ms. Eight and then proceeded to penetrate her. Further evidence indicates that the two continued the torrid sexual affair for decades until the Chevy's body rusted completely through at which point there was concern that Ms. Eight might contract rust-poisoning if she didn't cease the relationship. The '58 Chevy, known to her affectionately and 'Gary' is believed to have been melted and destroyed in 1979. Ms. Eight was not available for comment, although she has expressed slight disappointment in the breaking and entering of her farmhouse. Vance Eight has yet to comment concerning the matter. He is currently away in the Pacific Islands shooting an action-romance-comedy which sees him playing cop who's off to the Tropics to investigate a pick-pocket ring. The picture's working title is Pocket To The Tropic.	b