RHINO TO RUN ‘POORTOWN’

June 5, 2002 02:21 PM

The downtown district of Detroit, Michigan commonly referred to as ‘Poortown’ has long been controlled by street-gangs, pushers and pimps. The International Universe has learned that a certain Sumatran Rhinoceros has muscled his way into the territory and is threatening to take the whole thing over.

“Pimpin be damn territorial so it makes some sense that a naturally territorial animal, such as a 7000 lb. Rhino from Sumatra, would be good at it”, claims ‘Diamond’, a well-known downtown pimp. The nameless Rhinoceros works 24 hours a day and according to many offers the best deals on female and male prostitution. “His bitches and boys be the most slammin’ around”, says Frank, a cab driver who works the downtown core. “I just heard that, it’s not like I’ve been with any of his prostitutes…female or male. In fact, I’ve never even been with a prostitute at all, let along one from the Rhino’s stable… Not unless you count what went on in Saigon. Are you going to print this?”

About a dozen crack dealers, pimps and street vagrants are reportedly missing and rumour has them impaled and eaten by the Rhinoceros. Zoologists say the Sumatran Rhinoceros is a herbivore, although it is fiercely territorial and capable of a tremendous amount of damage. Competition is tight in ‘Poortown’ but it looks like there is a new player in town and he’s here to stay.

Skitfaced Home Celebrity Crime Editorial Sports The Paranormal	RHINO TO RUN ‘POORTOWN’ June 5, 2002 02:21 PM The downtown district of Detroit, Michigan commonly referred to as ‘Poortown’ has long been controlled by street-gangs, pushers and pimps. The International Universe has learned that a certain Sumatran Rhinoceros has muscled his way into the territory and is threatening to take the whole thing over. “Pimpin be damn territorial so it makes some sense that a naturally territorial animal, such as a 7000 lb. Rhino from Sumatra, would be good at it”, claims ‘Diamond’, a well-known downtown pimp. The nameless Rhinoceros works 24 hours a day and according to many offers the best deals on female and male prostitution. “His bitches and boys be the most slammin’ around”, says Frank, a cab driver who works the downtown core. “I just heard that, it’s not like I’ve been with any of his prostitutes…female or male. In fact, I’ve never even been with a prostitute at all, let along one from the Rhino’s stable… Not unless you count what went on in Saigon. Are you going to print this?” About a dozen crack dealers, pimps and street vagrants are reportedly missing and rumour has them impaled and eaten by the Rhinoceros. Zoologists say the Sumatran Rhinoceros is a herbivore, although it is fiercely territorial and capable of a tremendous amount of damage. Competition is tight in ‘Poortown’ but it looks like there is a new player in town and he’s here to stay.	b