‘WILD’ ENGLISH CHICKENS ATTACK FRENCH

June 5, 2002 02:21 PM

The small town of San Paulo, South Essex became the centre of attention on the weekend when eyewitness reports surfaced of "rabid" chickens attacking cars.

Local law enforcement agencies and animal control specialists were called in when dozens of chickens got loose at an undisclosed farm and attacked a group of piglets. Having severly maimed the swine, the birds proceeded to the nearest county bypass and began hurling themselves in front of oncoming traffic. French lorry driver Gaye La Roc's windshield was broken when his vehicle, a Paloma Cigarettes truck, struck two fowl while swerving to avoid them. La Roc refused an official statement, but was overheard cursing and blaming England for his present situation.

San Paulo local and long-time farmer Syl Apps claimed this kind of thing has happened before but not quite to this degree. Apps noted that "our fowl have been a bit edgy for the most part since I can remember, but I never seen anything quite like this." Mr. Apps added that the trouble started after the local Paloma Farmers' Tobacco Union decided to separate livestock farming from the tobacco-growing areas. Tobacco has been the backbone of the local economy since the early 1980's. The Paloma Tobacco Farmers' Union refused to comment on the incident.

A local farmhand, who chose to remain anonymous, said that livestock feed is often supplemented with discarded tobacco plants and the remains of diseased livestock. He added that the P.T.F.U. has been consulting the Special Association for Narcotics, Deception, Witchcraft, Infanticide, Coercion and Hatred (S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H.). Both organizations vigorously deny that there is any relationship between them.

S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. is known to have interests in tobacco and genetically modified foods, including chicken. A S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. spokesman was recently quoted as saying, "We need a more cost effective animal--one that will feed more adults."

Only months after mad cow diesease was eradicated from England, one can only wonder if mad chicken season is upon us.

Skitfaced Home Celebrity Crime Editorial Sports The Paranormal	‘WILD’ ENGLISH CHICKENS ATTACK FRENCH June 5, 2002 02:21 PM The small town of San Paulo, South Essex became the centre of attention on the weekend when eyewitness reports surfaced of "rabid" chickens attacking cars. Local law enforcement agencies and animal control specialists were called in when dozens of chickens got loose at an undisclosed farm and attacked a group of piglets. Having severly maimed the swine, the birds proceeded to the nearest county bypass and began hurling themselves in front of oncoming traffic. French lorry driver Gaye La Roc's windshield was broken when his vehicle, a Paloma Cigarettes truck, struck two fowl while swerving to avoid them. La Roc refused an official statement, but was overheard cursing and blaming England for his present situation. San Paulo local and long-time farmer Syl Apps claimed this kind of thing has happened before but not quite to this degree. Apps noted that "our fowl have been a bit edgy for the most part since I can remember, but I never seen anything quite like this." Mr. Apps added that the trouble started after the local Paloma Farmers' Tobacco Union decided to separate livestock farming from the tobacco-growing areas. Tobacco has been the backbone of the local economy since the early 1980's. The Paloma Tobacco Farmers' Union refused to comment on the incident. A local farmhand, who chose to remain anonymous, said that livestock feed is often supplemented with discarded tobacco plants and the remains of diseased livestock. He added that the P.T.F.U. has been consulting the Special Association for Narcotics, Deception, Witchcraft, Infanticide, Coercion and Hatred (S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H.). Both organizations vigorously deny that there is any relationship between them. S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. is known to have interests in tobacco and genetically modified foods, including chicken. A S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. spokesman was recently quoted as saying, "We need a more cost effective animal--one that will feed more adults." Only months after mad cow diesease was eradicated from England, one can only wonder if mad chicken season is upon us.	b