Inventor Dex Thority responds to email from International Beggars’ Union

Letter from International Beggars’ Union

To: Dex Thority
From: Dale Mandango
Subject: BEG9 Begging Robot

Mr. Thority,

We at the International Beggars’ Union are disturbed by your introduction of the BEG9 Begging Robot.

At first, we were pleased to see that a modern inventor and entrepreneur such as yourself would be supportive of beggar’s issues, and hoped that BEG9 would help to address some of our members’ common concerns, such as long hours, on-the-job harassment, police brutality, and low wages with no benefits. We hoped that BEG9 would help our members cut down on their hours while increasing their pay.

However, when we discovered BEG9’s _300,000 price tag, we were taken aback. How do you expect working beggars to be able to afford this device? I could buy several Porsches for that. Anyone who could afford BEG9 is obviously not a beggar.

In fact, this is why I am writing to you today. It appears that eccentric industrialists across the nation have been buying teams of BEG9s and putting them to work in prime begging areas. Since BEG9s cannot be asked to leave, and are programmed to defend themselves in a surprisingly aggressive manner, we have a huge problem on our hands. It appears your begging robots are putting real beggars out of work.

I hereby appeal to your sense of human decency and ask that you either:

a) Issue an immediate recall of all BEG9 units
b) Disable their violent self-defense mechanisms
c) Make BEG9 units available only to IBU members at a heavily discounted rate, i.e. below _100

This issue arises at an inopportune time for our union. We are trying to raise our minimum wage above _0/hour – and your begging robots are not helping our cause.

Sincerely,

Dale Mandango
President, IBU

Dex Thority’s response

To: Dale Mandango
From: Dex Thority
Subject: Re: BEG9 Begging Robot

Mr. Mandango,

Thank you for your interest in the BEG9 Begging Robot. I am sorry that my exciting new invention is causing your union such problems, and I hope that we can work together to resolve them.

I set out to be an inventor because I feel inventions should make the life of the common man easier. I wanted the BEG9 to help the poorest members of our society. Unfortunately, we live in a market economy, and when development costs on the BEG9 reached beyond _59-million, I realized I had to raise the price on the units. However, even at the present cost, my research indicated that some of the world’s wealthiest beggars might be able to group together and lease the units over a long period of time – say, 10 years or so – which made me feel better.

I am sadly unable to recall the units — in fact, some BEG9 owners are having trouble removing their own units from sensitive locations such as police stations, hospitals, etc. It seems they have gone ‘rogue’ and acted of their own accord. Anyway, it would not be possible. Also, I am unable to disable their defense mechanisms. However, I am looking into selling advertising space on the robots to major brands, which might allow me to lower the sticker price to around _100,000! This would be a major breakthrough, and may be the solution you are looking for. I hope this interests you.

Regards,

Dex Thority