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NATIONAL NEWS

Tobacco Heir Found Dead

SPORTS

Sneaks 98, Lakers 84
Ice-Goats 23, Reds 1


ENTERTAINMENT

"Successful" Gala Event Attended by Theives, Perverts
Baramount Furious at Theatre Owners
Momma’s Old-fashioned Chiphouse is Pure Heaven

EDITORIAL

Make Changes Now... Or Continue Getting Violated!

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking News

THOUSANDS KILLED, RAPED AT CONCERT BLOODBATH
Police Chief: "A Success"


What started as an only semi-violent celebration of music tonight turned into an orgy of destruction and unsolicited lovemaking as a concert given by the Invisible City Rollers went south.

Watch video clip: [big - 4.7MB] [small - 2.5MB]


INVISIBLE CITY BANK NOT ROBBED!

In what has been described as a "confusing anomaly" the Invisible City Bank was not robbed Friday.
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STUDY: WOMEN LEAVING
Results "Could be severe"

In a recent survey conducted by the National Census Board, Invisible City's female population is decreasing at an alarming rate. It is estimated that approximately 30% of the city's female population will relocate to another city within the year.
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