Thad Paloma Jr. at a recent AWA convention.

Tobacco Heir Found Dead

Harshburgh - Thad Paloma Jr. , spokesman for the American Whip Alliance and heir to the Paloma tobacco fortune, was found dead this morning in an alleyway near his trendy downtown loft-style penthouse.

The mercurial twenty-seven year old playboy was pronounced dead on the scene by coroner Pops Josephson. Josephson told reporters that Mr. Paloma suffered a massive cardiac arrest. Drugs have not yet been ruled out as a cause of death.

The outspoken Paloma, a fierce supporter of legalized whipping, often bragged of smoking up to nine packages of Paloma cigarettes a day. Sources say that he lived by the maxim "Exercise is for the poor," a phrase he touted often at AWA rallies and other public events.

A friend of the deceased who asked not to be identified said that Mr. Paloma had complained of pounding chest pains for months and twice last year he collapsed at AWA sponsored sport-whipping tournaments. Still, police captain John Lowther was unwilling to rule out foul play entirely.

"He was a very unhealthy man, but the sheer number of death threats Mr. Paloma received alone warrants an investigation."

There is little question that Mr. Paloma's political beliefs and family name earned him many enemies worldwide, but his twin brother Claire, who discovered the body, is quick to dispel any conspiracy theories.

"I didn't kill my brother and neither did anybody else. He just died and that's all that happened. He shouldn't have gone jogging but he did and that's what happens."

Claire is the younger of the twins by forty-five seconds, and now succeeds his brother as the eldest child of multi-billionaire tobacco baron Thaddeus Paloma. Thaddeus Sr. has another set of twins, Chaddeus and Kevin, from another marriage. They are four years younger than Thad and Claire.

Funeral services will be held next Monday at St. Danny's church on Tobacco road in Harshburgh.

Listen to Claire Paloma's 911 call at the time of Thad Paloma's death