Invisible City Bank Not Robbed!

In what has been described as a "confusing anomaly" the Invisible City Bank was not robbed Friday.

I.C. Bank vice-president Perry Childpeter says he is "completely stunned" at the turn of events. The I.C. Bank has been robbed on average seven times a day since it opened eighteen months ago.

"Very few people even show up to work anymore, which makes the bank an easy target." says Childpeter, "Most of the doors and windows are broken and irrepairable, the safe has been blown open so many times, you never know when a bomb's going to go off."

These working conditions, and the bitter smell of urine, feces and corpses inside the bank, have created an atmosphere which many employees feel leaves much to be desired.

"What difference does it make?" says Tom Newberry, a teller at the bank.

" Nobody goes to work. If you do go, they don't even know you're there half the time. And the place reeks. I might as well stay home. Life is totally pointless in every way. Sometimes I find myself hoping I get killed. I just really don't want to get raped."

Almost every business in Invisible City faces these kinds of problems. However Childpeter believes that operating a bank remains a greater challenge than a business that doesn't keep a lot of money on the premises.

He also maintains that there will be no change in the status quo as long as there is money in the bank. In order to keep the city's economy afloat, large amounts of cash are shipped in to the bank on a regular basis from other financial institutions.

"They ought to shut the doors, " says Childpeter.

"As long as they send money, people are going to come take it, and while rape and murder no longer shocks me, it depresses me to think that so many people will be raped and murdered, and for what? Because they went to work. We'll be robbed tomorrow. You'll see. "